14-12-2005 11:53:00 » Ä°zzy HiçbirÅŸey bölümüne yazdı.
Bugün nette gezinirken bir site buldum. Aha birkaç alıntı:
<zybl0re> get up
<zybl0re> get on up
<zybl0re> get up
<zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances 
-<
* nmp3bot dances |-<
* nmp3bot dances /-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i’m going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
<erno> hm. I’ve lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can’t figure out where in my apartment it is.
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say…
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON”T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
<guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<thexphial> vaccuums
<guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<thexphial> black holes
<guo_si> Hey, you know what just isn’t cool?
<thexphial> lava?
<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
–> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<– Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
<t-wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<rdawg20> you don’t live in Hope mills do you?
<t-wolf> ya, why man?
<rdawg20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<t-wolf> you mother fucker
<i8b4uunderground> d-_-b
<bonynomore> how u make that inverted b?
<bonynomore> wait
<bonynomore> never mind
*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<word_of_god> Numbers 22:21 — And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. – (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<abstruse> I know I’m never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that…
<jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<indidge> umm….nothing?
<jeedo> So….want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<indidge> Wait….did you want to speak to my daughter?
<jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
*** Topic in #doghouse is ‘Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud’
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<anubis> what fraud?
<kadmium> You haven’t heard about it?
<anubis> no?
<kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com/
<anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to ‘Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud’
<lordchewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<lordchewy> and he was getting all pissed
<lordchewy> so its all like “does this surprise you? i’m not stupid you know”
<lordchewy> “i know dad”
<lordchewy> “what do you have to say for yourself?”
<lordchewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say “C:\Documents and Settings\Ricky\My Documents\faxes\sent faxes”
<lordchewy> and he just shut up
<kingkahn> what is it?
<lordchewy> its his porn folder
<sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<v-girl> i belong with the other 13%
<eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<eticam> And a girl asked why doesn’t it taste sweet then
<eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^
<ukdj|planet> I swear to god
<ukdj|planet> I’ve just heard a duck tell a joke
<jock> o…k
<ukdj|planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<ukdj|planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<ukdj|planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<ukdj|planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
<beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country 
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you “caught” him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month…. needing it by now
<@Sony> ………..
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
<stormrider> I should bomb something
<stormrider> …and it’s off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don’t log chats
<stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<elzie_ann> I’m sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<fbi> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )
<sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<sonium> the programming language
<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren’t using
*** frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> …
<robt> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
<bawss> Right click.
<fashykekes> Capitalizm is the difference between “I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse..” and “I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..”
<raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to “penis”.
<raven> It said my password wasn’t long enough. 
<nhboy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor
<rycool> …
<nhboy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven’s Door.
<nhboy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, “the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?”
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it
<chin> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<chin> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<chin> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<chin> there is no justice in the world…
<mortalkombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<mortalkombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!
<fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you’re looking “acute” today
<fulgore> fuck you
<ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<ich> and the 0 key doesn’t work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<ich> and the machine flashed up “Item Not Found: 404″
<ich> and I actually laughed out loud
<digignome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<digignome> I need my socks.
<mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<celestya> i dont think so
<mikkel> Wanna go camping?
Burası
13-12-2005 18:57:00 » Ä°zzy HiçbirÅŸey bölümüne yazdı.
Bir bankada 5 tane yamyam, programcı olarak görevlendirilirler. Müdürleri onlara hitaben:
— Şimdi burada çalışabilirsiniz. Burada iyi para kazanabilirsiniz. Ama yemek yemek için bankanın kafeteryasına gideceksiniz ve diğer çalışanları rahat bırakacaksınız.
der. Yamyamlar hiç bir çalışanı rahatsız etmeyeceklerine söz verirler. 4 hafta sonra müdürleri gelir:
— Çok iyi çalışıyorsunuz. Yalnız katınızdaki temizlikçi kız kayıp. Ona ne olduğunu biliyor musunuz?
diye sorar. Yamyamların hepsi hayır derler ve bu işle hiç bir ilgilerinin olmadığını söylerler. Müdür gidince yamyamların şefi yamyamlara döner:
— Aranızdan hangi maymun temizlikçi kızı yedi?
diye sorar. En arkadaki yamyam alçak bir sesle cevap verir:
— Ben yedim.
Bunun üzerine şef söyle cevap verir.
— Ulan aptal! Biz 4 haftadır grup müdürleri, bölüm müdürleri, proje yöneticilerini yiyip duruyoruz ki kimse farkına varmasın diye, nasıl olsa onların bir işe yaradıkları yok senin durup dururken temizlikçi kızı yemen şart mıydı?
Hadi bakalim, simdilik bu kadar yeter.. Sonraya da kalsin. 
Burası
06-12-2005 03:31:00 » Ä°zzy HiçbirÅŸey bölümüne yazdı.
Hadi bugün de fıkra ile geçiştirelim günü:
Hakim sanığa sorar:
— Uluslararası kaçakçılıkla suçlanıyorsunuz, ne diyeceksin bakalım?
Sanık ise sakin bir ifadeyle cevap verir:
— Tamamen iftira efendim. Biz fenerliyiz. Uluslararası ne işimiz olabilir ki bizim?
Bu bir. Åžu ikincisi:
Fenerlinin biri bir gün bir adada tek başına dolaşırken bir lamba bulur. Lambayı büyük bir şevkle ovalar ve lambadan bir cin çıkartır. Lambanın cini fenerliye sorar:
— Dile benden ne dilersen.
Fenerli adada yanlız olduğu için:
— Bu adadan kadıköye kadar bir köprü yap, ben de stada gidiyim.
der. Cin:
— Bu imkansız. Mümkün değil. Bunun yerine başka bir dilek dile.
der. Bunun üzerine de fenerli:
— O zaman feneri şampiyon yap..
diyince, cin sorar:
— Köprü kaç şeritli olsun?
Bu da iki (bu iyiydi işte). Şu da üçüncüsü:
Adamın biri bir gün geneleve gitmiş. İşini hallettikten sonra da sormuş:
— Ya bacım, arada bir böyle kaza falan olmuyor mu?
Kadın hiç istifini bozmadan:
— Eee oluyor bazan…
demiş. Adam da meraklanıp:
— Peki n’apıyorsunuz? Yani nereye bakıyorsunuz?
diye sorunca, kadın da:
— Valla biz cami avlusuna bırakırız. Oradan da yetenekli olanları fenere futbolcu, zengin olanları fenere yönetici, bir bok olmayanlarını da fenere taraftar olur.
demiÅŸ.
Hadi bakalım, şimdilik bu kadar yeter.. Sonraya da kalsın.
Burası
